Unions that start with a click on an Internet profile are becoming more common. Why? Currently, adults live in a limited social universe, at least when compared to face-to-face meetings of the past. We work, take care of our children and sometimes meet our friends; there is no time left for other activities. We carry out our transactions and our grocery online and have replaced the discussion with text messages. We seem more connected, but are actually more isolated than ever. In these conditions, how can a woman meet a man? Forget the ladies bar … you will also find laptops.
Internet dating works but it depends on the site you choose, you can join OkCupid, Match.com, or NRJ if you are into French and European girls. I know it because I tried the experiment. Yes, the specialist in the field of relationships and sexuality found herself single after a break after a long relationship (find out why!). How was I going to meet people? I live in a small community where all the singles worthy of interest seem to be my patients! I really can not offer them an appointment! That’s why I tried dating online … backwards. I had fun, made some interesting encounters and others that I would have done … but more than anything … I survived! Here are some Internet dating tips, inspired by my practice in the field.
Cultivate the right attitude
Meetings should be fun. You have nothing to lose by meeting a man for an hour to chat in a public place. Do not listen to your panicked inner voice that predicts you the worst. Anxiety related to encounters is the biggest psychic blockage to the emergence of a beautiful relationship. “Will he love me? Will he please me? “… and the phrase I hear most in my office:” I do not want to meet anyone this way, because I’m afraid to please him more than he does me. and fear to give him false hopes, to hurt him and to be incapable of saying no to him. “Balivernes! This is just a good excuse to hide the truth: “I’m afraid of being hurt.” So, face your fear and make an appointment.
Know that you will survive a disappointing meeting
After all, what is the worst case scenario? Perhaps he will see you … and will he run away? You will have the opportunity to learn to be rejected by someone who has suffered the same thing. This happens to us all. In my case, after a lot of pleasant emails, I decided to meet for dinner a wine importer. We were so excited that my partner had purchased tickets for Pearl Jam for the second scheduled date before our first meeting. However, during the initial meeting, it became clear that I did not correspond to the mental image he had made of me during our e-mail exchanges. When we left each other, I said that we would see each other at the concert and added, at the joke: “Unless I receive an email of cowardly abandonment” (woman’s intuition!). His email arrived around midnight. It began in these terms: “Here is the email of cowardly abandonment …”. Of course, I felt bad, but I accepted her offer to keep the tickets and I attended with my sister at the Pearl Jam concert, where we danced all night between girls.
Admit that a good meeting is not a relationship.
Going out a few times with a person does not mean maintaining a stable relationship! It is the advantage of being an adult and not a teenager. We can choose to meet more than one man at a time, to know them better. So do not hesitate to do it. For your part, your partner will act in exactly the same way! Decide that you will meet 10 men once. If you discover reciprocal affinities with one of them, you can take a break after the 10 meetings, to see if it’s the right one. If you manage to differentiate the concepts of dating and real love seeking, you will be more serene and more receptive to surprises and have more fun.
As far as I’m concerned, after several attempts through popular dating sites on the Internet, I tried a Buddhist site (there are specialized service sites of all kinds today and Buddhism is an integral part of my life. personality, so you can opt for a site for single parents or organic farmers, among others). I met a man, tourist editor, whom I attended for two years and who invited me to Tahiti, Venice and Hawaii. Our romance is now over, but he remains one of my best friends.
All that to conclude that I had fun, that the experience was positive, negative or very bad. Each time, I trained to meet a stranger and overcome the first moments always a little embrace to end up embarking on the fascinating process of getting to know a new person.
I am now comfortable with Internet dating. No doubt you will, you too.